The Beginning of a New Chapter
Today I took my last final. Woohoo school is finally over and done with!…But so is my year and a few months long relationship with my boyfriend or should I say “EX”. A lot of things are ending right now which has really taken a toll on my mental health.. jk lol. I’m good..for a girl who has just gotten out of a relationship…
I’ve really only had one person in my life that I relied on for almost everything and anything. I know it must’ve been a lot for one person. He was my bestie and my lover. I’m kinda disappointed more than heartbroken. I just always believed in my heart and soul that him and I were gonna be great together, but maybe that’s just a fantasy and this ladies and gentlemen isn’t a fairytale where things are perfect in the end.
I’ve been having constant dreams about him and I for the past few days and it just ends up making me miss him a lot more. Like last night I had a dream about having some illness and I looked it up online, guess what it said: “To dream of contracting a terrible disease in your dream can be associated with a lack of power to communicate with a loved one.”
BTW PLZ HELP THE NASTY DISEASE IS STUCK IN MY HEAD AND MAKING ME ITCHY EVERYWHERE!!
I haven’t been able to speak to him I guess my subconscious is a little frustrated with that…
But following that dream I had another that we were together, just ya know… doing us. Sighhh.
I’m proud of myself for not crying although I’m not too sure if that’s actually good for me… I just really can’t feel anything right now.
Call me crazy but after all the hurtful things he has ever done to me I will always love him. He became like a piece of me. I just don’t find it necessary to erase everything because although it may have not been meaningful to him, it was very meaningful to me.
I don’t see myself getting back together with him relationship wise… like ever, because the damages were too great but I still want him apart of my life. I just feel like great whenever I’m around him, he’s someone I can totally let my guard down around and I still trust him with my life.
I’ll just give it some time though and see whether or not I still should be interacting with him, and I mean if he still wants me apart of his life matters too.
To end this on a good note cause this was super mellow..
I’m actually going to sign up for Kick Boxing classes and I’m freaking excited! Hahaha
I hope you guys had a good day, but thanks for reading.
Until next time, xxo