How I Prepare for My Dick Appointment
The first thing I do when my boyfriend texts me “I GOT THE FREEEEEE”, or “Come love me today.”
I know what that means, it’s time to start my long ass process of 3 hour grooming. Here’s a list of all the products and tools I use:
- Shampoo & Soap
- toothpaste & toothbrush
- My clarisonic & Face wash (neutrogena of course)
- Conditioner for shaving and after washing my hair
- Shaver and razor
- Loofah & that long brush thingy to exfoliate and reach hard to get places
- Last but not least coconut oil
So, I usually start off with going in the shower and shaving my whole body, under arms, legs, and vagina. I start off with my legs first, I rinse my legs in the water and apply conditioner all over them. (yes hair conditioner if you didn’t know, it’s as good as shaving cream) I begin shaving and then move on to my vagina.
*Read: First Waxing Experience*
Now because I’m fucking horrified of getting a horrible cut down there, I use what’s known as a razor. My favorite, Panasonic, it is super inexpensive and does a beautiful job of shaving. I wouldn’t recommend for legs but for underarms and coochies… this shit right here will save your life, no more cuts, with a closer shave. It’s waterproof plus you can use it dry. It also has special functions that you can move up and down to reach hard to get at areas. I’ve had this same shaver now for about 3 years and hasn’t failed me yet. You’ll thank me!
Anywhos back to the important stuff, I shave my underarms and then I wash my hair. I scrub my body with the long brush thingy first to get off all the dead skin cells and leave a smooth surface, and then go in with the actual Loofah. Now once that’s completed I use my Clarisonic and Neutrogena face wash to make my face squeaky clean.
Once I’m out of the shower I make sure to literally moisturize every nook and cranny, and for that I use my very trusty coconut oil. I buy it from trader joe’s and use it to keep my body nice and soft for the activities that day. If you know what I mean 😉
*Read: Is Oral Sex a Good Idea?*
It’s safe to use on your ass, and vagina. You can actually use it as lube during sex, but I just usually use regular store bought lube for a less oily mess. *If you do end up wanting to try coconut oil as a lube I recommend speaking to your doctor first just in case, also it breaks latex*
Now my favorite part is picking out lingerie, I wouldn’t say I have a huge collection, but I have enough. Lingerie is like such a foreplay. It makes me feel sexier, and makes sex more interesting for my lover and I. So I’d usually choose something lacy. Over top, I usually wear leggings and a loose tee, so I can be comfy around his house.
*Read: How to Engage in Safe Sex*
Now for the most important thing: What to bring with?
- Lube Lube Lubeeee! Nobody wants dry sex especially if you’re using a condom. It’s better to be nice and lubed up than to have friction down there. Lube makes sex fun and more comfortable, and trust me It’s nothing to be embarrassed about.
- Condoms *Both of you!* who knows maybe someone ran out having a back up plan doesn’t kill the mood so there’s no going wrong here.
- If you’re a girl summer eves wipes and panty liners trust me they’ll be your best friend
- And of course a change of underwear, I usually wear comfy panties after sex.
This my friend is how I prepare to get dicked down.
Thanks for reading <3
How do you prepare for sexytime?